crack open and let the first light through.
The key to surviving is not always easy, nor always obvious. This page is based on my own personal experience in finding a path forward. Maybe it will work for you too.
This is an extended explanation from the site overview page, which page is intended to explain the site’s purpose. This page is for you.
Mindset is the First Key to Surviving
The first thing I had to change was my mindset. This site isn’t called Victims of Injustice for a reason—it’s called Surviving Injustice. Victimization happened in the past, yet we are still alive. Therefore, the key to surviving that will allow us to return to some level of quality of life, is to recognize we have to find a pathway to it. That will, is the key to surviving by finding the path forward into the future, and that is called: survival.
I found the key to surviving was to start seeing myself not as what was done to me, but as someone who endured it and was still here. That shift—from victim to survivor—is the key that opens the doorway forward. And why this site is called Surviving Injustice.
The Lifeline that Developed when the Past Kept Replaying Itself was a Vital Key to Surviving
You can certainly relate to this one:
For a long time, the trauma just kept replaying itself in my head. Over and over. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, my brain dragged me back into it like it was happening all over again.
I developed a simple trick as a key to surviving by simply throwing myself a lifeline when I felt I was drowning.
The only way I found to cut through that loop was this simple process:
Whenever I found myself replaying the trauma, I would say, STOP.
Out loud if I had to, or loud inside my head.
Then I’d ask myself: Where am I?
And I’d look around. That is a crucial part. Because the obvious truth is revealed. Every single time, the answer was the same—the harm wasn’t there. I was safe now.
That’s how I learned to interrupt the cycle. Not erase it—interrupt it. The second key to surviving is to find a path to safety in the moment.
But we replay trauma for a reason. Our brain is trying to make sense of it. So the next step in my journey was the third key to surviving.
Why Silence Didn’t Work, Which Led to the Third Key to Surviving
I tried every drug there was to snuff it, and would find it was still there the next day. Trust me when I tell you, no matter which one you choose nor how much you use, it will not resolve the trauma. Drugs are not the key to surviving. The trauma was always there every morning.
Like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
I was fortunate enough to be forced into going to 12 step meetings. And there I discovered the third key to surviving, the one that unlocked the answer.
The only thing that started to release it was saying it out loud. Not once. Not twice. Over and over. The power behind group therapy is that the group protects you. Unlike in your head—where replaying it is dangerous, because in your head it feels real—in group therapy, your brain knows you are surrounded by others that won’t let the harm get to you.
It was in that safety that the brain was finally given space to process the trauma.
One of the future goals of this site is to create our own forum to engage in this process. A regular meeting—peer-led and anonymous—where you can speak without fear. Aliases, no cameras, maybe even a slight voice distortion. For survivors of injustice and crime alike. Nothing like that exists yet—but it needs to. So we are going to be building it.
But okay, now you have a lifeline and a means to process it. Are you done? Almost.
Why Do We Need to Go Through All of That? Because the Fourth Key to Surviving Is Seeing We Alone Are Carrying the Hate
For years, I carried that hate around with me. And it basically sucks to live life that way.
The fourth key to surviving was the thing I eventually realized. No matter how much I projected that anger and resentment, I was the only one catching it. Those that caused the trauma had no idea I was letting them know they hurt me, it had no effect on them. It only continued to harm my own life with self-created toxic waste that filled my own days—not theirs.
You walking around the world harboring hate has no effect on them, it only ruins your experiences and quality of life.
The fourth key to surviving is the better path—focus on what was gained. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. That you are here reading this is a good sign, you are of the variety that is stronger.
So find what you have developed that makes you stronger. And know you would not have gained that strength without the event. Knowing what strength we have gained helps us to see why we are stronger. And that is a reason to be grateful. We replace hate with gratitude.
Yes, I know that seems counterintuitive and very likely something that seems impossible.
What strength do you have now that you didn’t before?
Because the truth is, by answering that, I realized I wouldn’t have gained that strength without going through it.
Here’s the flow: what leads to why. By taking inventory of the aspects of ourselves that are stronger, we begin to see why we gained them. That why was the traumatic event. And when we understand it that way, the equation becomes simple.
Equation: What → Why = Freedom
That leads to the most obvious truth: I survived.
Do not dare discredit what it took for you to survive. It took you everything you had to find a way to survive. And you did.
And for that strength, I am grateful—and you too can be grateful.
I am grateful you found your way to survive too.
That gratitude does not excuse what happened nor does it make it right. It simply puts it in context.
And that is the fourth key to surviving—seeing that our own freedom is found in unlocking the chains we had once bound ourselves with.
If I bound myself, I can unbind myself.
Focusing on what we lost only distracts us from seeing what we gained.
One of the greatest gifts for me was learning who my true friends were. Some I didn’t even know were there showed up. Some I thought were close disappeared. That knowledge alone is priceless—yet I never would have known it without the trauma that inspired it.
Watch Groundhog Day again, and notice: when he found gratitude, he was freed from despair.
Hearing it from Another Survivor May Help Too
I was blessed to come across an even stronger survivor than myself. She found the same path forward and communicates the fourth key to surviving perfectly.
You will never be free until you learn to love the cause of harm.
It may take years to even begin to understand what she means, but a map in the right direction is better than walking blindly. And because she says it far better than I ever could I have a link to her TED Talk for you to watch. It’s one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It’s 14 minutes long, but it feels like 4—because this truth resonates.
Your journey leads—not into endless shadow—but into light. Any remaining darkness is yours to leave or knock out of the way.
